Do you experience painful emotions, like sadness, fear, or hopelessness, but aren’t quite sure why?
Have traumatic events caused you to experience flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, or emotional detachment?
Have you developed unexpected physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or digestive issues that impact your ability to function?
Have you lost interest in the people or activities that were once a sense of joy for you?
Whether or not you define what happened to you as traumatic, there may be a gap between how you understand your experience intellectually and how your experience is processed on an emotional and psychological level. Without being aware of it, you may be regularly triggered by certain stimuli that make you subconsciously recall your experience and then react and behave in ways you are ashamed of.
The word “trauma” originates from the Greek word for “wound.” This etymology highlights that trauma is essentially an emotional or psychological injury, much like a physical wound. Just as a physical wound can cause pain, limit movement, and require healing, emotional and psychological wounds impact our mental and emotional well-being, often deeply influencing our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and relationships.
Trauma and attachment wounds can stem from a variety of experiences, but its essence lies in the wound it leaves inside us. These wounds can manifest in numerous ways, such as feelings of inadequacy, chronic anxiety, depression, irritability, or difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships. The internal damage caused by trauma can lead to a sense of being broken or damaged, affecting one’s self-worth and view of the world.
Trauma has a way of making us feel chronically disconnected from ourselves and out of touch with our emotions. This disconnection occurs because trauma is processed and stored in the limbic system, particularly in the amygdala and hippocampus. The amygdala handles emotional responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), and the hippocampus manages long-term memory and contextualizing experiences. In contrast, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning, logic, decision-making, and understanding consequences, is less involved in processing trauma. As a result, emotional and physiological reactions are triggered faster than the cognitive processing of the prefrontal cortex can manage, leading to immediate and often overwhelming feelings or actions before rational thought can intervene.
This understanding is crucial in therapy, as it helps frame why techniques that engage the emotional centers of the brain and body, rather than solely cognitive approaches, are often necessary to truly process and integrate traumatic experiences. I use evidenced-based trauma approaches, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Somatic EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Hypnotherapy, Shadow Work, and Somatic Therapies in treatment for trauma, PTSD, and CPTSD to help the brain’s different parts work together to process trauma more holistically.
Trauma isn’t only about what happened. It’s also about how we experienced it, what it meant to us, and the story we unconsciously built around it. This is especially true in childhood, when the brain and nervous system are still developing and laying the foundation for how we relate to ourselves, others, and the world.
Children need more than love. They also need attunement, validation, and consistent emotional support that fits who they are. Even the most loving, devoted parents can’t meet every one of these needs perfectly, so nearly everyone carries some childhood wounds. Many parents today are also raising children with far less help than extended families and close-knit communities once provided.
My approach is not about blaming parents or caregivers. A parent’s ability to meet a child’s needs is shaped by their capacity. This includes stress, health, finances, conflict in the home, limited time and energy, and their own childhood experiences. I believe most parents do the best they can with what they have. But many are trying to pour from an empty cup. My work centers on understanding these dynamics with compassion, for both the individuals and the families I support.
You may have heard trauma described as “Big T” and “little t.” I prefer not to use those terms, because they suggest some trauma matters less than others, and in my experience, that simply isn’t true. Instead, I find it more helpful to look at how trauma affects us. Some experiences shake our sense of safety. Others shape our sense of self. Many do both, and all of them can have a deep and lasting impact, often in ways that aren’t immediately obvious.
Trauma that shakes our sense of safety is often called “shock trauma.” These are the sudden, overwhelming experiences most people picture when they hear the word “trauma.” Examples include physical violence, sexual assault, natural disasters, serious accidents, military combat, the sudden loss of a loved one, or a mass shooting. These events can lead to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which can include flashbacks, severe anxiety, nightmares, hypervigilance, and avoiding reminders of what happened. This kind of trauma can disrupt daily life, emotional regulation, and relationships, and it often changes how safe we feel in our bodies and in the world.
Then there are traumas that shape our sense of self, such as complex trauma, relational trauma, developmental trauma, and attachment trauma. If shock trauma is like a single near-death wound, the trauma that shapes our sense of self is more like death by a thousand cuts. No single moment may seem big enough to call trauma, but over time, the wounds add up. These experiences can be less obvious but deeply affect our identity, self-worth, relationships, and view of the world. Some happen within our closest relationships, often over many years, such as emotional or verbal abuse, emotional neglect, ongoing criticism, chronic invalidation, lack of attunement from caregivers, overbearing parenting, parentification, addiction in the family, high-stress households, and family conflict. When this kind of harm is ongoing and severe, especially in childhood, it’s often called complex trauma.
When these experiences happen early in life, they can disrupt the secure attachment we need to feel safe with others. In many cases, this kind of harm is accidental and unintentional. It often comes from caregivers who loved us and were doing their best with what they had. Many were stretched thin by a lack of time, support, or resources, or were carrying unhealed wounds of their own. Many also raised children at a time when few people talked about concepts such as attachment, attunement, or emotional validation, and we simply didn’t know then what we know today.
Even so, these early experiences can lead us to be harshly critical of ourselves, feel inadequate or unworthy, withdraw, struggle to communicate, or fear being our authentic selves. Later in life, painful experiences often hit hardest when they echo these early wounds. Over time, this can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and a breakdown of trust and intimacy in our relationships.
Other traumas can come from the world around us, such as bullying, humiliation, rejection, sexual harassment, or stigma around sexuality or gender identity. Painful losses and life changes can also leave a lasting mark, including divorce, breakups, job loss, chronic illness, frequent moves, or the loss of a pet. Over time, these experiences can chip away at self-esteem, erode confidence, and strain relationships.
Many people doubt that their experience “counts” and think, “Nothing that bad happened to me.” Trauma that is subtle or less obvious can be especially confusing. It can leave us questioning ourselves, our judgment, and whether our pain is valid, and that doubt can become a barrier to healing. But you don’t need a dramatic story for your pain to be real. If something still affects how you feel, react, or relate to others, it deserves care.
Trauma of any kind can leave behind deeply held beliefs that get stuck, such as “I am permanently damaged” or “I have to be in control all the time.” These beliefs often live below our awareness, quietly shaping how we react, the choices we make, and how we feel in our bodies today. Whether an experience shook our sense of safety, shaped our sense of self, or both, it can affect how we see ourselves, others, and the world. The good news is that with support, these beliefs can soften, these patterns can change, and healing is possible.
I see trauma at the root of many emotional and physical struggles. Rather than only managing symptoms or changing thoughts and behaviors, I focus on what lies underneath. Trauma touches almost everyone to some degree, whether it happened in childhood, adulthood, or both. My goal is to help you heal the underlying root causes of what you’re facing, so you can relate to your past, and your life, in a new way.
I work to create a supportive space where you can process and integrate your experiences at a pace that feels manageable. Healing isn’t about forgetting what happened. It’s about no longer feeling controlled by it.
Because trauma lives in the body as well as the mind, our work also includes learning to notice and listen to your body’s sensations and signals, such as tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, or a sudden wave of exhaustion. These sensations often carry important information about what you’ve been through and what you need now.
We’ll also work directly with your nervous system. Trauma can leave it stuck in survival mode, constantly on alert, shut down, or swinging between the two. Together, we’ll gently build your capacity to stay present with difficult feelings without becoming overwhelmed or numb. Over time, your system can learn that the danger has passed, allowing you to feel more grounded, calm, and connected in your daily life.
For trauma that shaped your sense of self, simply understanding how these experiences have influenced your emotions, behaviors, and body can be deeply validating. Many people find relief in realizing that their struggles make sense, which can ease feelings of isolation and self-blame.
For trauma that shook your sense of safety, therapy offers a chance to discover that you are not permanently damaged. Even if part of you fears you will never feel safe again, healing and transformation are possible.
Many clients come to therapy hoping to erase their trauma, to make the memories and pain simply go away. My approach is different. Rather than pushing trauma away, we make room to gently feel and honor what happened. When your experiences are finally met and felt with care instead of avoidance, they begin to transform, and what once felt overwhelming can become part of your story rather than something that controls it. Along the way, many clients find what they’ve been longing for: a sense of safety in their surroundings and relationships, freedom from inner turmoil, and the experience of being heard and believed without judgment. Many also rediscover who they are beneath the pain, feel more in charge of their lives, and build deeper, more supportive relationships, even when vulnerability feels scary.
Depending on your needs, our work together may draw on several approaches. With Internal Family Systems (IFS), we will explore how your protective parts attempting to keep you from feeling pain, may inadvertently be compromising your healing process. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Somatic EMDR help reprocess traumatic memories so that painful beliefs about yourself can shift to ones that feel truer and more supportive. Hypnotherapy will let us access your subconscious mind, facilitating deeper emotional releases and uncovering hidden blocks and insights to your healing. allows us to access the subconscious mind, releasing deeply held emotions and uncovering hidden blocks to healing. Somatic Experiencing helps you recognize body sensations, release trauma held in the body, and regulate your nervous system. Shadow work invites you to gently explore the parts of yourself you learned to hide or reject, so you can reclaim them with compassion and feel more whole.
Reaching out for support takes courage, especially when part of you may still be wondering if your experience is “enough” to need help. You don’t have to have it all figured out before you begin. Together, we’ll move at a pace that feels right for you. Over time, therapy can help restore the sense of control and self-worth that trauma often takes, deepen your connections with others, and build resilience for whatever lies ahead. My hope is that you come to live a life shaped not by trauma, but by strength, fulfillment, and renewed purpose. If you’re ready to take that first step, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.
It’s normal to feel hesitant about discussing painful experiences. Counseling is a gradual process with no need to rush into discussing your trauma. Building a trusting relationship with your therapist is crucial, allowing you to feel safer and more comfortable over time. I will respect your pace, starting with what you’re ready for and moving deeper as you feel prepared.
We aim to avoid “flooding” you with intense emotions and memories all at once. Instead, we will approach your healing step by step, ensuring you are never overwhelmed and can process your experiences in a manageable way.
While friends and family offer valuable support, going to therapy has distinct advantages. As a trained professional, I understand trauma’s impact and use evidence-based treatment approaches to manage and overcome symptoms in a structured manner.
Therapy also offers a confidential and impartial space for you to express yourself freely, without fear of judgment or repercussions, which is something friends and family may not always provide. Additionally, unlike friends and family, therapists can maintain objectivity without personal bias or emotional entanglement.
Sometimes clients can feel worse before feeling better in trauma therapy as they explore and confront previously unaddressed emotions and memories. This can intensify feelings temporarily, but it’s a normal part of healing.
With that in mind, open communication with your therapist is imperative. I will support you in navigating these feelings and help you develop coping mechanisms to manage this challenging phase of your healing journey.
Lauren DeRossette works with trauma survivors of all backgrounds and experiences in therapy. Get in touch for more information about trauma treatment.
