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Do you experience painful emotions, like sadness, fear, or hopelessness, but aren’t quite sure why?
Have traumatic events caused you to experience flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, or emotional detachment?
Have you developed unexpected physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or digestive issues that impact your ability to function?
Have you lost interest in the people or activities that were once a sense of joy for you?
Whether or not you define what happened to you as traumatic, there may be a gap between how you understand your experience intellectually and how your experience is processed on an emotional and psychological level. Without being aware of it, you may be regularly triggered by certain stimuli that make you subconsciously recall your experience and then react and behave in ways you are ashamed of.
The word “trauma” originates from the Greek word for “wound.” This etymology highlights that trauma is essentially an emotional or psychological injury, much like a physical wound. Just as a physical wound can cause pain, limit movement, and require healing, emotional and psychological wounds impact our mental and emotional well-being, often deeply influencing our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and relationships.
Trauma and attachment wounds can stem from a variety of experiences, but its essence lies in the wound it leaves inside us. These wounds can manifest in numerous ways, such as feelings of inadequacy, chronic anxiety, depression, irritability, or difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships. The internal damage caused by trauma can lead to a sense of being broken or damaged, affecting one’s self-worth and view of the world.
Trauma has a way of making us feel chronically disconnected from ourselves and out of touch with our emotions. This disconnection occurs because trauma is processed and stored in the limbic system, particularly in the amygdala and hippocampus. The amygdala handles emotional responses (fight, flight, freeze), and the hippocampus manages long-term memory and contextualizing experiences. In contrast, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning, logic, decision-making, and understanding consequences, is less involved in processing trauma. As a result, emotional and physiological reactions are triggered faster than the cognitive processing of the prefrontal cortex can manage, leading to immediate and often overwhelming feelings or actions before rational thought can intervene.
This understanding is crucial in therapy, as it helps frame why techniques that engage the emotional centers of the brain and body, rather than solely cognitive approaches, are often necessary to truly process and integrate traumatic experiences. I use evidenced-based trauma approaches, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Internal Family Systems (IFS), Hypnotherapy, Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), and Somatic Therapy in treatment for trauma and PTSD to help the brain’s different parts work together to process trauma more holistically.
Trauma isn’t just the event itself; it is also about how we experience and interpret it, as well as the narrative we unconsciously construct around it. Childhood is a critical period for brain development, laying the foundation for emotional, psychological, and physiological growth. Even with parents who deeply love their children and strive to do their absolute best, trauma and attachment wounds can still occur. Parents may struggle to provide proper emotional attunement, meet their child’s emotional needs, validate their feelings, or offer consistent support tailored to each individual child. These unintentional shortcomings can impact a child’s development and well-being. Most every child has childhood wounds because no parent is perfect, and in today’s society, stressors are more prevalent compared to the past when communities collectively raised children.
My approach is not about blaming parents or caregivers. Instead, it acknowledges that a parent’s ability to meet their child’s needs is influenced by many factors. These include the parents’ own stress levels, lack of mental health education, parents’ own childhood experiences, health issues, conflict in the home, work and financial difficulties, emotional availability, and limited resources, time, and energy. I truly believe that most all parents do the best they can with what they have at the time. However, the problem is that sometimes parents are trying their hardest to pour from an empty cup. My approach is centered on understanding these dynamics and offering compassionate support to both individuals and families.
Recognizing the differences between “Big T” and “little t” traumas is important. The terms can be misleading, suggesting one is less significant than the other, which isn’t necessarily true. Both can have significant impacts, often in ways that aren’t immediately apparent.
“Big T” traumas are obvious, severe events that are life-threatening and typically what society typically refers to as “trauma.” Examples include physical violence, sexual abuse, natural disasters, serious accidents, military combat, sudden loss of a loved one, or a mass shooting. These events can lead to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), characterized by flashbacks, severe anxiety, nightmares, hypervigilance, and avoidance of trauma reminders. “Big T” traumas often disrupt daily life, emotional regulation, and relationships, often altering perceptions of safety and the world.
On the other hand, “little t” traumas, though less obvious, deeply affect identity, self-worth, relationships, and world views. Examples include emotional or verbal abuse, neglect, divorce, job loss, chronic illness, familial conflict, frequent moving, humiliation, bullying, issues related to sexuality or gender identity, friendship or romantic breakups, overbearing parenting, parentification, rejection, addiction in the family, losing a pet, high-stress households, ongoing criticism, or sexual harassment. These traumas can chip away at a person’s self-esteem, reduce confidence, and damage relationships.
Often rooted in childhood attachment wounds, “little t” traumas can lead individuals to view themselves negatively, feel inadequate and unworthy, become withdrawn, less communicative, or overly dependent. This disruption of healthy attachment styles can result in misunderstandings, conflicts, and a breakdown of trust and intimacy with others.
Trauma creates persistent negative cognitions that get stuck in the brain, such as “I am permanently damaged” or “I don’t matter,” which can trigger current day reactions and decisions unconsciously. While “Big T” traumas may shake one’s sense of safety, “little t” traumas can shake one’s sense of self and their view of others and the world.
In my therapeutic practice, I view trauma and attachment wounds as fundamental aspects of many psychological and physiological issues. Rather than merely managing symptoms or modifying behavior, I focus on addressing the core of these challenges. I recognize trauma as a widespread experience that varies in impact and affects almost everyone to some extent, whether it occurred in childhood or adulthood. My goal is the address the underlying causes of your difficulties and help you rewire your brain, creating a renewed outlook on your experiences and life.
I strive to create a supportive environment in therapy that can empower you to process and integrate your trauma, allowing you to move beyond feeling controlled by your past. Counseling also addresses the physical manifestations of trauma, guiding you to better recognize and attune to your body’s signals.
Learning about “little t” traumas can provide significant insights, enhancing your awareness of how these experiences deeply influence your behaviors, emotions, and body. This new awareness not only brings validation but also diminishes feelings of isolation and self-blame.
For those who have experienced “Big T” traumas, counseling is an opportunity to realize that you are not permanently damaged. Despite the fear that your trauma has left you forever broken, therapy can reveal paths to recovery and healing, showing you that transformation and renewal are indeed possible.
My clients seek not to erase their trauma—but to heal from it and weave healthy practices into their lives so they can move forward with a sense of joy and fulfillment. They crave safety and security in their surroundings and relationships, wanting to live without inner turmoil and the fear of trauma happening again. They also look for understanding and acceptance from others, hoping to be heard and believed without judgment, and to have their experiences and emotions validated, especially if previously dismissed. Many wish to reclaim and rediscover their identity, often overshadowed by pain, and regain control over their lives to feel autonomous. And there is a strong desire for deeper connections and meaningful relationships where they can feel supported and cared for, despite fears of vulnerability.
Using the modality, Internal Family Systems (IFS), we will explore how your protective parts attempting to keep you from feeling pain, may inadvertently be compromising your healing process. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) help desensitize and reprocess traumatic memories, allowing us to replace harmful negative cognitions with more adaptive and empowering ones. Hypnotherapy will let us access your subconscious mind, facilitating deeper emotional releases and uncovering hidden blocks and insights to your healing. Somatic Therapy will enhance your ability to recognize bodily sensations, address possible physical manifestations of trauma, and help you to regulate your nervous system. Together, these integrative approaches aim to promote healing and allow you to reclaim your sense of well-being.
Beginning therapy and asking for help are courageous steps towards inner peace, empowerment, and genuine transformation. By deeply understanding your trauma and its effects on your life, you can learn to integrate these experiences into your story, allowing you to move forward rather than remain tethered to your past. Therapy aims to restore the sense of control and self-worth that trauma often diminishes, helping you rebuild healthier relationships with others and engage more fully with life. Therapy builds resilience, preparing you for future challenges with increased confidence and stability, so you can lead a life not defined by trauma, but by strength, fulfillment, and renewed purpose.
It’s normal to feel hesitant about discussing painful experiences. Counseling is a gradual process with no need to rush into discussing your trauma. Building a trusting relationship with your therapist is crucial, allowing you to feel safer and more comfortable over time. I will respect your pace, starting with what you’re ready for and moving deeper as you feel prepared.
We aim to avoid “flooding” you with intense emotions and memories all at once. Instead, we will approach your healing step by step, ensuring you are never overwhelmed and can process your experiences in a manageable way.
While friends and family offer valuable support, going to therapy has distinct advantages. As a trained professional, I understand trauma’s impact and use evidence-based treatment approaches to manage and overcome symptoms in a structured manner.
Therapy also offers a confidential and impartial space for you to express yourself freely, without fear of judgment or repercussions—something friends and family may not always provide. Additionally, unlike friends and family, therapists can maintain objectivity without personal bias or emotional entanglement.
Sometimes clients can feel worse before feeling better in trauma therapy as they explore and confront previously unaddressed emotions and memories. This can intensify feelings temporarily, but it’s a normal part of healing.
With that in mind, open communication with your therapist is imperative. I will support you in navigating these feelings and help you develop coping mechanisms to manage this challenging phase of your healing journey.
Lauren DeRossette works with trauma survivors of all backgrounds and experiences in therapy. Get in touch for more information about trauma treatment.
